31 Jan Mean Girl
“I’m walkin’ on sunshine. (Whoa) I’m walkin’ on sunshine. (Whoa) I’m walkin’ on sunshine. (Whoa)
And don’t it feel good!” -Katrina and the Waves
People are so mean sometimes.
You know the kind…difficult, selfish, angry…people that make you feel less-than or not enough. They always seem to make you the problem, not them. They’re smarter, faster, stronger, and all-around better than you…or so they seem to think. My natural reaction is to get in my car, scream, and throw things. Wow. So mature. I want to point out their flaws and make myself more and them less. I get all Mean Girl, or even better, whip out my super spirituality to put them in their place….just in my mind though. I’m an Enneagram 9 and don’t like conflict. So I actually wouldn’t say it to their face. But in my head, I have some really good comebacks.
But then I realize I’M BEING JUST LIKE THEM.
One day I decided I needed to look up a Bible verse, so instead of screaming “I HATE YOU” at the top of my lungs in my car, I could have a go-to verse that would change my heart and attitude. The best one I could come up with was Psalm 106:18: “Fire blazed among their followers; a flame consumed the wicked.” Although very satisfying, I realized sometimes I was the hateful one, and I really don’t want to get burned.
So, instead I chose Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I realize that I give these people too much power in my life and let them dictate how I feel. Taylor Swift says it so well in “I Forgot That You Existed:”
How many days did I spend
Thinkin’ bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong
Lived in the shade you were throwin’
‘Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone
And I couldn’t get away from you
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah,
Your name on my lips, tongue tied
Free rent, livin’ in my mind
Dang. I always ask my kids in difficult situations, “Is that the kind of person you want to be?” I want to be joyful, compassionate, purposeful, and loving. That’s not happening when I have unforgiveness and hatred in my heart. Nobody can steal my sunshine unless I let them. No more free rent. So, I’ll try the second verse. And forgive. And forgive again. And realize that they are people who are living in this rough world where there’s a lot of darkness. They probably don’t need more shade…a little sunshine just might change them too.
P.S. I really love that song.
P.S.S. Why does it feel so good to throw things and scream? Just me?