19 Feb Mom Life
And we laughed, and we cried, and thought, “Oh, what a life.” -American Authors
I think our purpose as moms changes throughout our life. Defining who God wants us to be while raising humans that are constantly changing.
I had a 1,2, and 3 year old. I remember going to Walmart. Yes, I question that decision as well. I think I felt most at home there and at the zoo during that time in my life. Sweet little ladies would come up to me and say, “Enjoy this time. These are the best days of your life.” Really? Is this all there is? I had a 1,2, and 3 year old. They were adorable, but I can honestly say that those were not the best days of my life. My purpose and existence was to chase kids and change diapers and read books over and over and over again. It was a lucky day if I got a shower.
And then they went to school. And I cried. And I thought, “now what?” I had to rediscover my purpose. It was still to be a mom and follower of Christ; it just looked different. I didn’t have control over everything they heard and saw. I had six hours to myself every day. There’s only so much cleaning I could do! I got involved in women’s Bible studies, and school became my ministry. I volunteered there A LOT. I also started substitute teaching. We hosted a lot of playdates and coached a lot of t-ball and soccer teams. Instead of reading to them, they read to us. We watched a lot of Disney channel. I memorized all the High School Musicals. Life was good.
And then they became teenagers. Now we all cry. My job is counselor and professional driver. I am becoming an expert negotiator. I diffuse a lot of emotional situations. I am a driver’s ed instructor. I am a paper editor and Calculus tutor. Don’t tell my kids this, but I think they’re smarter than me. Thank God for Google! One of the hardest things I am learning is how to let go. We have to make big decisions like when they can date and who we’ll let them go to parties with. We are trying to teach them to make good decisions for themselves and become successful, independent adults. There are times where I don’t feel like an adult myself. How can I raise one? I want them to have a faith that is their own. Allison will be going to college in 2 years. Yikes! My role has definitely changed. They don’t need me in the same way they used to need me. As much as they are adjusting, I am adjusting too.
I love being a mom. My girls came into this world being completely dependent on me. As they grow and change, my job is to teach them to not depend on me. As they change, I change. My prayers change from “Please let them sleep through the night,” to “Please let them make good decisions.” Change isn’t always easy. I can become a control freak or a frazzled worrier. Half the time (I am being a little generous here) I have no idea what I’m doing. But then I realize, God loves them infinitely more than I do. I’ve never been the one in control. That is excellent news.